Party out to Sea

The gentle rock to sudden jerks of the creaking wood
He pulled the steering this way and that
The waves ripple and break at the sides
The wind finds its way to dry my eyes

I’m lost and harbouring from touching anything
Something flaps above me, wanton to the wind
Sails are flocks of cranes in their most basic metaphor
And the sun is hiding behind the clouds

If the sun is hiding, whose birthday is it?
Is the sea invited?
I can’t see anything worth celebrating here
But my favourite hat is on the shore

I think the Captain got an invitation
Because his hat looks very nice
I’m not someone who is familiar with inferences
Although, I trust the Captain is used to these occurrences

The Captain and I search for the best party we know
Why else would we be out here?
They call it a horizon because it doesn’t end
But between you and me, let’s say it does

It’s getting colder now but I prefer just a t-shirt
The Captain’s beard just keeps on getting longer
I think the sun is about to ruin the surprise
As the Captain and I party out to sea

Empty Nights or Self-Doubt or The Man with the Pen is Dead (Part 3 Final)

My dream is finished; I’ve found my rest
I’ve ascertained the answer to pass the test
My dream is finished; I’ve found my rest
I’ve ascertained the answer to pass the test

Her kiss locked my lips; I understood the properties of inertia
What was I to do? So, I released my lips to kiss back
All fear and desire to end my simple, confused, life had been intercepted
By this basic token, from an unknown girl, being accepted

She took my hand and led me away from the palisades
I followed her warmth and scent perpetually along the way
Who is this girl? Why was she there to seize my conflict?
But it was useless to understand such love I couldn’t realistically depict

Slowly her hand began to slip, but I wasn’t fazed
I still followed her through the thick air in my condition of dazed
The wind wisped her feet and faded her body from me
I remained still as she finally left nothing for me to see

My mind closed with the peace that I had been long waiting for
And I awoke with no appetite to feed my depression anymore
Still unsettled, but I am content with the world
And whatever happens is welcome to be unfurled

I know decipher this girl didn’t love me in the sense of Eros
But rather in Agape for her self-sacrificing actions to stop me from my ghost
And I gather that she valued my life as many of my good friends
But I’m thankful that this happened to show me life didn’t have to end

I’m not sure how much I can trust myself anymore
But I am optimistic about the future
And in the wake of self-doubt comes some sort of confidence
That I don’t understand, but I embrace with open arms

Empty Nights or Self-Doubt or The Man with the Pen is Dead (Part 2)

What I expected has come true
I see my dream is the nightmare that I knew
What I expected has come true
I see my dream is the nightmare that I knew

Stretching each step on the long path
Focus amidst the confusion: for the future, for the past
Meeting the cliff edge in my mind
Visualizing the fall and giving it life

Erase the horizon on your own action and draw a new end
Cut the journey short and cheat a new way to death
Just over the hang of roots, I’ll be introduced to the warming wind
But I remember the words on the signs

“Match the rise and take the run,
The slope will take you whenever you’re done.
It will safely carry you to the ground,
And don’t worry after that, I don’t think you’ll have to.”

Tomorrow visits with or without me
So what’s the wait for, I’m no use anyway
Shutup and just run off the cliff
There’s no hope for me otherwise

A figure, a girl I can’t seem to recognize, rests at my side
Appearing suddenly as I kick to start my suicidal stride
She slows time and paces to the front of me and my path
Doesn’t she know that I’ll take her down with my momentum?

She’s now directly in my way and not moving
But my force isn’t slowing; this situation’s not improving
Immediately time stops and not a second to miss
As our bodies meet, only our lips touch for her kiss

Empty Nights or Self-Doubt or The Man with the Pen is Dead (Part 1)

All my nights are empty now
And all my fears are coming down
All my nights are empty now
And all my fears are coming down

Slow my breath, but not too much
Crawl on my knees, but don’t use the crutch
Close my eyes let darkness surround
Remember no one’s got my back now

Venture out into the bleak, beyond is dark
One foot in front of the other, but not leaving a mark
I find myself drenched without losing a drip
Now where was that cane? I’m falling without a grip

Found in the middle, there’s no edge in sight
Escape from my mind is only possible with a little more light
Cruel for there is no specified exit to this sphere
But it’s imperative I leave before the dream becomes clear

Blood Thirsts for Blood

Clinging on to the shackles I don’t want to retract
Fear of leaving from this prison is holding me back
The debt that I pay, a voluntary action of mine
But no means no and your requests are denied

I won’t pander to your incoherent suggestions
I’m not falling for your kicks in my direction
Though I can’t make my quivering eyes cease
And my clenched fist pounds till blood’s release

My hands shine red and drip like a sudden thud
For we all know that blood thirsts for blood
Each puncture runs as marked from a pin
And each cleansing wipe tears the next layer of skin

Exposed to the shattered broken mirror
Brought down under the clouds, seeing clearer
Taking what I need to fill my life
But the only thing in that hole is the ironically anonymous knife

Across the table I see the moist jar of clay
All this time it was my ignorant mistake
It was never my task to mold this manipulative jar
Naturally, my body’s keeping record of the scars thus far

My hands shine red and drip like a sudden thud
For we all know that blood thirsts for blood
Each puncture runs as marked from a pin
And each cleansing wipe tears the next layer of skin

Thinking that my patience, for me, has finally cracked
I’ll reasonably focus on the good whatever the act
Hoping someone will at least remember what’s left of me
Draining the last of the value for the collector to see

My hands shine red and drip like a sudden thud
For we all know that blood thirsts for blood
Each puncture runs as marked from a pin
And each cleansing wipe tears the next layer of skin

I’ve given all my vitality, there isn’t any more
Left alone in front of that familiar prison door
Every time I return, it’s a charge on the price
Maybe for this cost, my blood will not suffice

Erratic Operation

From where sorrow glimpses my weary eyes
And my cold feet wander to the open shore
The red sunset falling to the western skies
Doesn’t bring comfort for the new morning anon

The fire’s embers lay their warm blanket over my face
Yet my recognition of my future chills my skin
Knowing the fear that finally approaches soon
Each icy capsule accepted reminds me of your grievance

When the day journeys across the blue
My arms fall to my weakened sides
Fell to my knees when the pain grew
And gave my life to disappearing hands

If I wake to find my existence
I’ll know I wasn’t worth the cause
And lie awake just yearning for death
To bring peace of mind to this corrupt heart

A Time Will Come

When the sun is high
And the car seats are hot
And your laughter makes me cry
Because you laugh for someone else

My eyes wander in the ever-changing scene
My heart follows further than I can see
To when I can fall back into your arm’s dream
I wait for when a time will come

But your head is turned first
And when your eyes glance back at me
I feel as though you had rehearsed
And gave compassion, just enough to sustain my life

I bite my lip when I see you’re not around
We could be on the same bus and still get lost
Through the wailing of the wind we make not a sound
For if I am still part of your desire, a time will come